by Zara Dance
Dating a bellydancer THE GUIDE
I have officially been single for a year ( I even had a party to celebrate lol)
I have enjoyed the year sooooooooooo much - The dating game is one I had missed. However, I have to say GUYS COME ON are you for real - so entertainingly BAD have some of my dates gone that I have decided to give you lads a much needed hand on HOW TO DATE A PRO BELLYDANCER.
WARNING SOME RUDE LANGUAGE (all in jest)
KEEP YOUR COOL and LOOSE YOUR ARROGANCE !
Ok so you are dating a bellydancer - first thing BREATH DEEP, don't get too excited and spunk in your pants, if you haven't already that is. Guys, if you're there panting and tongue out , at the novelty of dating an actual bellydancer then pull yourself together. Guess what - it isn't attractive and I don't want to be seen like some new novelty toy - I am a WOMAN.
Actually, if it is the novelty of us/me being a bellydancer that is the reason you are hanging around, you can jump on your bike now. Novelty, by definition, gets boring quick and if that's all this is about DON'T WASTE OUR TIME. Rule number one: a Bellydancer don't like getting her time f**ked with. Her spare time is precious and you're DAMN lucky to be in your position.
Now don't take this advice wrong and ignore the fact that the girl you are with is a bellydancer - and the fact that she is a sexy, empowering and god darn awesome (yes I used that word) woman - but do it in a collected manner, classy is what you are going for.
Also don't let insecurity creep in and arrogance prevail. Yes it's intimidating, she's the desire of many, on so many levels: self employed, independent, original, beautiful, confident and talented. But take it as a compliment and a credit to you that she is dating you! Don't go the other way and let it make you feel the need to put her down. Comments and glares at other girls just make you look stupid (and like a perv) and backhanded compliments might be allowed a few times - BUT TRUST bellydancers ain't got the time for that CRAP.
What to expect?
Well as mentioned before bellydancers are pretty awesome. All of us are individual so you can't generalise, however some common traits that come with the job are:
Exceptionally intelligent - I have yet to meet a dumb bellydancer and that's the truth. It is a dance that tends to attract the intelligent woman. So get reading your gonna need to stimulate her mentally as well as physically.
Confident and outgoing in public and stop with the power struggles- well she is a performer, it goes without saying. She know what she wants at the restaurant/bar, dont assume her drink order!?!? I mean she can control crowds of 100s with her hips, trust me she knows what she wants. However, she may want to let her hair down when not working and let someone else take the lead, then you step up, but till you know that this is the case don't go in for a power struggle - you will lose.
Busy on the weekends - You don't have to be a rocket scientist to work out that she is most probably gonna be busy on the weekends because of her gigs. In general her time table is gonna be interesting. You need to step outside of the BORING everyday 9-5, baaaaaa like a sheep life. Your life has just got less conventional and 100x more exciting. You'll be seeing a whole new side of the week you hadn't realised existed. You are also going to have to get more creative with your date suggestions.
Popular (to CRAZY LEVELS) - she probably self promotes on social media and goes to lots of events, hence gets a lot of attention ( likes, followers etc..) this can of course lead to lots of stalkers. Again, don't get insecure or possessive trust me they are CREEPY guys, she knows that and ain't interested. Leave her be, she can deal with it - just let her know you have her back in the extreme case of WEIRD STALKERS.
Annoying on Facebook - DON'T JUDGE HER ON HER POSTS there may be lots and they maybe annoying. She may come across like she is FBK obsessed- but understand THIS IS HER JOB. Bellydancers get gigs and well known from social media, she has to do it! Who she is online is only half the person - Your job is be to the standard high enough to find out the other half.
No scrubs or gold-diggers here please - Yes she can earn a lot of money for a short set, of what may APPEAR to you to be an easy job - IT AIN'T - and she will probably have a lot of cash on her, as it's in the nature she is paid. This to you may look like loads of MONEY that's because it's cash. You're not used to seeing money: you're paid in virtual money, into your virtual bank account. Yes she earns well (cos of all her EFFORT and TRAINED talent) but she ain't a millionaire, she definitely don't want a gold digger in her life !! So get your wallets out guys - feel free to spoil - and NO sniffing around her asking for money and getting bitter at what she EARNS!
Job envy / life style envy - Yer her job is cool and her life is unconvencinal and exciting (though there are some seriously hard sides to the industry you don't see) don't let this lead to you being bitter. If you don't like your job, or feel you don't earn enough, get off your lazy arse and change that - she has made a whole carrer for herself !! Don't mope around that ain't gonna inspire her.
THINGS YOU JUST DON'T DO:
Text her in the middle of the night or completely randomly saying anything like "am I gonna get a private dance" - " I am thinking of you doing a private bellydance for me" - "are you gonna bellydance for me naked" . Guess what it ain't original - it aint sexy and TRUST ME you are not the first to say it and WELL DONE YOU HAVE JUST BEEN DEFULTED TO WEIRD STALKER STATUS with all the other creepy pervs - *shakes head*
Say "thought you needed a belly to bellydance" or "I can't bellydance I don't have a belly" - I mean are you for real why you making these 'Dad jokes' not sexy.
Start adding all of her bellydance friends on facebook - you're a perv if you do that.
Compare her job to being a stripper/exotic dancer - I mean COME ON! If I need to explain, you're a bit thick and shouldn’t be dating a dancer.
- NEVER ASK HER TO STOP BELLYDANCING, or complain she is doing too much bellydance. This was the DEATH of my ex-boyfriend R.I.P, I mean he was a douche in the end and there were a lot of reasons to split up, but all could be potentially forgotten/excused, however - the moment he told me I do to much bellydance I was like F**K OFF. If you don't want to end up with a bellydancer or marry one then guess what: DON'T DATE ONE!! Love may blind some of us at some point and we might be willing to give it up at first.... but trust that won't last long - bellydance is WHO SHE IS it runs through her blood. Make her stop and she will just get bored, resent you, and in the end realise how stupid she was and LEAVE YOU. Save us both the crap and GET OVER THE FACT SHE IS A DANCER.
Expect to find slightly odd things around her apartment, that may make you feel uncomfortable: like human hair extensions; used false eyelashes, that look like spiders, sitting on side boards; fake tan marks on the toilet seat; curling thongs left on, that look like a fire hazard......
Get used to breating in hair spray - we don't know, nor care what effects this may have on your health - this girl needs big hair, capece!
Probably she will be late to a lot of things - her dance style is Egyptian/ Arab and she takes on their mediterranean timekeeping attitude, she's worth the wait, don't moan.
You may be canceled cos she gets a gig - don't take it personally IT'S HER JOB, it pays her bills.
You may get dragged to bellydance haflas (parties) hmmmm yer they are wired, a bit boring, sometimes scary, but shut up and take it -trust me go to a few then you have done your time and can get out of them after that. Act enthusiastic and interested for the ones you have to go to and your defult answer is she was the best performer. A stiff drink first is recomended.
THERE WE GO YOU HAVE ALL THE SECRETS - there are no excuses now. I wish you good luck and trust me, my best friends are bellydancers and they are the most amazing women in the world -they are worth EVERY OUNCE OF YOUR EFFORT!
Do you have tips you want to share PLEASE POST BELOW :
Me with my girls (lots of whom are dancers )- CELEBRATING ME BEING SINGLE FOR A YEAR lol !! You have to be god darn amazing to change that because the life of a bellydancer is sooo much fun and exciting , the fact you are single isn't important....
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